THE WORLD AROUND ME

The world around me seems endless. It seems like no matter what I do or try to do I am still in the same position. Am I the one to blame. Or maybe it was my up bringing that should be to blame....or perhaps the school that I spent 4 years of my life learing in is to blame. Somebody should be to blame for all the confusion and depression I feel at times. But at the end of the day no one is around...I am left alone. Left alone to deal with the thoughts of uncertainty that race through my mind day in and day out. I often sit back and wonder who should be to blame for all the pain that I feel? There has to be entity that shoulders can hold the blame for this.

I often feel that the mental hardships (if that) I faced over these past 21 years most would never have to face. But I am not regretful about these events/internal battles....becuase they ultimatly helped me grow and learn as a man. But yet at the same time I feel that I desrve success more then the next person becuase of that mental stress. And to some my life may not seem that hard, or complex, or stressful. But that would only be from a bloodied eye looking through a frosted glass window. The image would be distorted. As I often feel peoples image of me is. So who is to blame for this distortion, if I am geniunly a good person with good intentions on humanity?

The world around me is cold and dark. But I am a creature of the night and have never been too fond of the bitter cold. So I will adapt and survive...while still holding the feeling of resentment. That is where I live now. Care to visit?